Demand tigers buckets ziggly juice off keyboard pulpitate.
Wait, what??
If you’ll bear with me, I’m just making a point: as human
beings, we need to make sense of our
world by firstly giving things names and then grouping them together. We need
to make associations in order for the world to have meaning. We make ideas
relate to other ideas in our heads so that we understand our place in the world
and how to respond to it. So, that first sentence is jarring precisely because
it takes all our associations and throws them out the window. What is ‘ziggly’
and what does it have to do with tigers? And since when do the words ‘keyboard’
and ‘pulpitate’ follow each other? It makes zero sense.
Our next response is either to try fill in the gaps,
rearrange the words, or ignore the sentence altogether.
In order to avoid this mess, this meaninglessness in life,
we’re wired to link ideas to other ideas. Birds= wings. Jobs= money. Shadow= sun. And on and on it goes.
This is good. It helps us recognize patterns. It helps us
identify what works and what doesn’t. For example, if prayer= answers then
we’re likely to do more praying, ceteris
paribus. On the other hand, if stealing=punishment, we’re less likely to
steal. We make the association and it informs our behaviour.
But as life becomes more complex, this kind of reasoning
begins not to serve us. And this is very
clear when it comes to certain dogmas about nutrition. A big one today is: Carbs= fat.
Which Carbs and for Whom?
It would really make life easier to think of bread, sweet
potatoes, yam, croissants, and couscous as belonging to one food group, which
has similar characteristics. In fact, that’s exactly what we do, and that’s why
those of us who want to lose weight are wary of all ‘carbs’ because we heard
somewhere that they stay in your body and immediately make you overweight.
But saying carbs=fat
is the same as saying technology=harmful.
Which technology, and who is it harming?
Is it not the same technology that is allowing me to write this blog, and you
to read it? How do you measure it’s harmfulness? Does it come with benefits?
What are they? Do those benefits outweigh the harm? And in any case, how can
you know the answer to any of those questions if we don’t know which subset of
technologies you’re talking about?
To press the point home, let’s look at two other
associations which are in fact true in their own right but show us how
unhelpful it is to make linkages without pausing to think about it.
High Fibre=good.
This association is backed by lots of scientific evidence, and we know from all
those ‘Special K’ adverts that eating enough helps you go to the toilet more
regularly. Regular elimination means your body is getting rid of the nonsense
so that it doesn’t go back into your
system, so clearly that’s good.
High Sugar= bad.
Our body and brains use sugar (e.g. in the form of glucose) for energy, so it’s
not all bad, but everyone pretty much agrees that sugar in the quantities and
types we consume it today has many negative effects. Study after study
implicates sugar as a major culprit in many chronic diseases for example. So
yes, we can fairly say that high sugar= bad.
BUT, did you know that fibre and sugar are both carbs? In
fact, there are three types of
carbohydrate: fibre, sugar, and starch. So if fibre, starch, and sugar are all
carbohydrates, and each of them have various effects on our health, do you see
how nonsensical it is to simply say carbohydrates
make you fat, or carbohydrates are
bad for you?
Simple and Complex

Simple carbs are easy come, easy go: they give almost
instant boost, but we quickly crash as the body fights to regulate our sugar
levels. The body’s mission is always to keep things steady- not too high, not
too low. This is called homeostasis. Simple sugars disturb homeostasis by
raising our sugar levels too high too quickly. The body’s response to this is
to rush to bring your sugar levels down again, hence the crash from a ‘sugar
high’. Your body does this by releasing the hormone insulin which tells your cells to let more sugar in, and the cells
expand as a result. This is why high
consumption of simple carbs is linked to obesity and diabetes!
Simple
vs Complex Carbs: An example
|
|
Simple Carb Foods
|
Complex Carbs
|
Glucose- Bread, cakes, pies, salad dressings, honey, energy bars,
sugary drinks
|
Whole grains- oats, brown rice, rye, quinoa, bulgar wheat etc
|
Sucrose- Table sugar
|
Root Vegetables: Potatoes, sweet potatoes, yam, cassava,
parsnips, turnip, celery, beetroot
|
High fructose corn syrup- found in many sweets and cereals
|
High-fibre/cellulose- broccoli, cauliflower, kale, cabbage,
lettuce, most fruit, pumpkin, squash
|
Maltose- sugar found in milk
|
|

So what?
Use this information to start being smarter about your carb
game. If your goal is weight loss, then it’s not just ‘carbs’ that you need to
cut out. You are more likely after simple
carbs. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Since they provide
important nutrients to the body and help keep you regular, complex carbs may actually HELP you lose weight. Even if your goal
is overall wellbeing in general, the same principle applies: do less of the non-beneficial and potentially harmful stuff, do more of the good stuff.
So, my friend, don’t “Demand tigers buckets ziggly juice off
keyboard pulpitate.”
Instead, demand complex carbs!
And when you are fed what seems to be a simplistic rule,
always insist on the more complex truth.